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IFS Therapy Ottawa: Understand Why Part of You Feels Stuck
Part of you wants to make a change. Another part avoids it, talks you out of it or assumes it will go badly. You know what you want to do, yet something inside keeps pulling in the other direction.
Internal Family Systems therapy helps you understand these conflicting reactions without treating any part of you as the enemy. Meet with Caitlin Kemmett, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying), in person at our Wellington West office or through secure video anywhere in Ontario.
When you feel pulled in two directions
You want to change. So why does part of you keep holding back?
You can want two opposite things at the same time. You want closeness, but you pull away when someone gets too close. You want rest, but you feel guilty as soon as you stop working. You want to speak up, but your mind goes blank when the moment arrives.
These reactions can leave you frustrated with yourself. You promise that next time will be different. Then the same thing happens again, and your inner critic uses it as proof that you’re lazy, difficult, weak or incapable of changing.
IFS offers another way to understand what’s happening. Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?” you begin asking, “What is this reaction trying to do for me?” A harsh voice can be trying to prevent failure. A part that avoids can be trying to prevent overwhelm. A part that keeps everyone happy can be trying to prevent rejection.
“Part of me wants to change, but another part won’t let me.”
“I know I’m being hard on myself, but I can’t stop.”
“I shut down when I need to speak.”
“I don’t know which version of me to trust.”
You don’t have to get rid of parts of yourself. IFS therapy helps you become curious about why they show up, what they fear and what they need before their reactions can soften.
A compassionate way to understand yourself
What is Internal Family Systems therapy?
Internal Family Systems, often called IFS, is a therapy model that understands the mind as having different “parts.” This doesn’t mean you have different personalities. It describes the normal experience of having different feelings, needs and reactions inside you.
The model was developed by Richard Schwartz. According to the IFS Institute, people have protective and wounded inner parts, along with a core Self that can approach those parts with qualities such as calm, curiosity, clarity and compassion.
In everyday life, your parts show up in simple ways. One part wants to apply for a new job, while another lists every reason you’ll fail. One part wants to trust your partner, while another searches for signs that something is wrong. One part wants a break, while another warns that resting will make you fall behind.
IFS therapy creates space between you and the reaction. Instead of being completely taken over by fear, anger or shame, you learn to notice that a part of you feels that way. That small change can make it easier to listen, understand and choose how you want to respond.
Reasons people explore IFS
What IFS therapy can help you understand
You don’t need to know the names of your parts before beginning. Start with a reaction or pattern that keeps getting in your way.
A harsh inner critic
You push yourself with insults, impossible standards or constant comparison. You want motivation that doesn’t depend on tearing yourself down.
Anxiety that takes over
Your mind scans for problems, rehearses every outcome and demands certainty. You want to understand what the worry is trying to prevent.
Avoidance and procrastination
You care about the task, but you freeze, distract yourself or wait until the pressure becomes unbearable. You want to work with the resistance instead of fighting it.
People-pleasing
You say yes, stay quiet and focus on everyone else’s feelings. You want to set limits without being consumed by fear or guilt.
Relationship patterns
You want connection, but you become guarded, clingy, distant or quick to expect rejection. You want to understand what these reactions protect.
Feeling disconnected
You go numb, shut down or feel far away from yourself when emotions become too much. You want to reconnect at a pace that feels manageable.
Understanding the roles inside you
IFS looks at protectors, wounded parts and Self
IFS uses specific language to describe inner experiences. Your therapist explains it in plain language and checks whether it fits how you understand yourself.
Parts that try to stay in control
These parts plan, perform, criticize, overthink and keep everyone happy. They work hard to prevent mistakes, conflict, rejection or embarrassment before it happens.
Parts that react in an emergency
These parts move quickly when pain breaks through. They can numb, distract, lash out, shut down or seek fast relief. Their goal is to make the feeling stop.
Parts carrying old hurt
These parts hold fear, shame, loneliness or memories of times when you felt unsafe, rejected or not good enough. Protective parts often work hard to keep this pain out of reach.
Your core Self
IFS describes Self as the calm, curious and compassionate centre of the system. The goal isn’t to force Self to take over; it is to create enough space for those qualities to become available.
These labels are tools, not diagnoses. You don’t need to fit yourself perfectly into a category. The useful question is whether the language helps you understand what happens inside you.
What the work looks like
What happens in an IFS therapy session?
IFS therapy is a conversation. You remain in control of what you discuss, how deeply you explore it and whether an exercise feels right for you.
Caitlin starts by asking what brings you in and what you want help understanding. You can talk about a recent situation, a repeated pattern or a reaction that doesn’t make sense to you. Together, you slow the experience down and notice the thoughts, feelings or sensations connected to it.
You might identify a part that is angry, afraid, critical or determined to avoid. Caitlin can help you notice how you feel toward that part. If another part judges it or wants it gone, that response also receives attention. Nothing has to be pushed aside.
When there is enough space, you can become curious about the part’s job. What does it fear would happen if it stopped? When did it learn this role? What is it trying to protect? You aren’t forced to find an answer. The process follows what feels available in the moment.
IFS does not require you to relive painful experiences or share details before you are ready. Your therapist watches your pace and helps you stay connected to the present. If you feel overwhelmed or disconnected, the session can shift toward grounding, slowing down or simply talking.
You can tell your therapist when something doesn’t fit. Good therapy is collaborative. IFS language should help you understand yourself—not pressure you to experience your mind in one particular way.
What you can practise
You can respond to yourself with more choice
IFS therapy doesn’t promise that difficult thoughts and feelings disappear. The work helps you build a different relationship with them.
- Notice when a part has taken over before its reaction becomes the only option you can see.
- Understand your inner critic without agreeing with every harsh thing it says.
- Approach anxiety with curiosity and ask what danger it is working so hard to prevent.
- Slow down people-pleasing so you can consider your own needs before automatically saying yes.
- Recognize protective relationship patterns such as withdrawing, chasing reassurance or expecting rejection.
- Make room for conflicting feelings instead of forcing yourself to choose one side immediately.
- Speak to yourself with more compassion without pretending that painful choices or behaviours have no impact.
- Choose a response that fits the present rather than automatically repeating what once helped you survive a difficult moment.
Meet your therapist
IFS-informed therapy with Caitlin Kemmett
Caitlin uses Internal Family Systems as one of the approaches that can inform her work. She does not force every concern into one model.
Caitlin Kemmett
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
Caitlin works with adults navigating ADHD, neurodiversity, relationship concerns, parenting changes, postpartum concerns and major life transitions.
Her style is warm, direct and collaborative. She helps clients slow down, make sense of conflicting reactions and talk about parts of life that feel difficult to name.
Language: English
In person: Wellington West office
Online: Across Ontario
In-person IFS therapy in Ottawa
Meet at our Wellington West office
Therapy with Empathy has one physical office. It is on Wellington Street West, near Westboro, Hintonburg, Tunney’s Pasture, Mechanicsville and Hampton Park.
Therapy with Empathy
Suite 202
1355 Wellington Street West
Ottawa, Ontario K1Y 3C2
Getting here
Nearby parking is available. The office can also be reached by public transit, with LRT access through Tunney’s Pasture station and connecting bus routes.
Secure virtual therapy is available across Ontario when meeting online works better for your schedule.
Getting started
Start IFS therapy in three simple steps
You don’t need to understand all your parts before reaching out. Start with the pattern that feels hardest right now.
Book a free consultation
Choose a free 20-minute phone consultation. Share a little about what brings you to therapy and ask questions before booking a full session.
See if the approach fits
Caitlin will explain how she uses IFS and whether it fits your concerns. You can decide whether you feel comfortable moving forward.
Attend your first session
Your first session is a conversation about what has been happening and what you want support with. Meet in Ottawa or online from elsewhere in Ontario.
Frequently asked questions
Questions about IFS therapy in Ottawa
What does IFS stand for in therapy?
IFS stands for Internal Family Systems. It is a therapy model that describes the mind as having different parts, along with a core Self that can respond with qualities such as calm, curiosity and compassion.
Does having parts mean I have multiple personalities?
No. IFS uses “parts” to describe a common human experience: different thoughts, feelings and needs can pull you in different directions. It is not the same as having multiple personalities.
Who offers IFS therapy at Therapy with Empathy?
Caitlin Kemmett, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying), uses Internal Family Systems as one approach that can inform her work. She offers in-person appointments in Ottawa and secure virtual therapy across Ontario.
Is Caitlin an IFS-certified therapist?
We are not claiming that Caitlin holds IFS certification. Her public profile states that she uses Internal Family Systems as one of her therapy approaches. You can ask about her training and how she uses IFS during your free consultation.
What can I talk about in IFS therapy?
You can bring anxiety, self-criticism, avoidance, people-pleasing, relationship patterns, difficult emotions or any situation where you feel pulled in different directions. You do not need to identify your parts before starting.
Do I have to talk about trauma in IFS therapy?
No. You control what you share and how quickly you explore it. IFS can help you understand protective responses without requiring you to discuss painful details before you are ready.
Is IFS therapy the same as family therapy?
No. Internal Family Systems focuses on parts within an individual’s inner world, although it can also inform relationship work. Family therapy usually involves two or more members of an actual family attending sessions together.
Can I attend IFS therapy online?
Yes. Secure virtual therapy is available to clients located anywhere in Ontario. In-person appointments are available at the Wellington West office in Ottawa.
Where is your Ottawa therapy office?
The office is at Suite 202, 1355 Wellington Street West, Ottawa, Ontario K1Y 3C2. Nearby parking is available, and the office can be reached by public transit from Tunney’s Pasture station and surrounding neighbourhoods.
Do I need a referral for IFS therapy?
No referral is needed to contact Therapy with Empathy or book a consultation. If you plan to use insurance, check whether your policy has its own referral requirements.
Is IFS therapy covered by insurance?
Many extended health plans cover psychotherapy provided by a Registered Psychotherapist or Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying), but every plan is different. Ask your insurer about provider requirements, yearly limits and reimbursement.
What happens in the free consultation?
The consultation is a free 20-minute phone conversation. You can briefly explain what brings you in, ask how Caitlin uses IFS and decide whether you want to book a full session.
You can stop fighting yourself
Get curious about the part that keeps getting in the way
Book a free 20-minute consultation with Caitlin to ask questions, talk briefly about what is happening and decide whether IFS therapy feels like the right next step.