How Confidence Can Help You Communicate Better
We all know by now how crucial communication is in maintaining any type of relationship, whether that is with our family members, partners, friends, or colleagues.
When communicating, you’re delivering a message as to what’s important to you and what you want the other person to take into consideration. The reason this is so important is that if not expressed, the other person won’t know to act in a way that meets your needs.
On this blog, we often talk about being seen, heard, and understood. If we don’t speak up regarding what’s important and meaningful to us, our needs most likely won’t be met.
Although we know we need to do this, it can be really hard to actually do it. One of the things that can easily get in the way, is whether or not we believe we can or should say something.
Either because we’re worried about not expressing ourselves clearly, about being dismissed (when there’s a possibility that the other person doesn’t agree with what we’re saying), or simply because we don’t know what to say or when to say it.
Those are all topics we can cover in different posts, but today we’re discussing why delivering the information confidently matters when effectively communicating.
Here’s an example that I often use with my clients: Think of someone who’s afraid of public speaking, or of talking to strangers in an environment they’re not familiar with.
They often go into those situations questioning whether people will be interested in what they have to say.
As they’re anxious, their body is also responding in a way that’s reflective of their state of mind. Their palms are sweaty, they start fidgeting, their heart rate increases, and mouths get dry.
They start speaking, but do so in such a low pitch that people are unable to hear what they’re saying. No one responds. Understandably so, as they couldn’t hear what that person said.
The anxious person doesn’t interpret it that way. People not responding to them confirms the negative thoughts that they had about themselves initially, that no one is interested in what they have to say.
They then vow to never speak in public again, or to be the person who initiates a conversation with a stranger.
What they failed to realize was their behavior created a scenario where it’s likely that people won’t respond to them. They don’t think of the context, and simply internalize no response as a lack of interest.
Being confident as you’re entering a conversation doesn’t mean the other person will see things exactly as you do/as you want them to, or that they’ll be ready to engage with you in that moment.
It means that you give yourself permission to bring up the topic. That you’ve the time taken to recognize the value in initiating a conversation with them. That you feel comfortable and confident knowing that you deserve to be heard. That you know there is value in what you’re about to say.
Circumstances such as timing can interfere with how the conversation flows, the takeaway for you here is that you don’t internalize it, and don’t see it as something negative about you.
If it wasn’t the right time, give yourself permission to try again later.
If you’re interested in reading more, check out the other blogs.
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Until next time!
