ADHD Burnout in Ottawa: Why High-Performers Can’t “Just Push Through”

You’re exhausted. Not the kind of tired that a weekend fixes. The kind where even small tasks feel impossible.

You thought you could outwork it. You told yourself to push harder. But you didn’t realize that burnout wasn’t a productivity issue. It’s a nervous system issue.

As a therapist working with high-performing professionals in Ottawa, I noticed that at some point successful people who’ve always powered through will eventually hit a wall they can’t climb. It’s not because they’re weak. It’s because their brain and body have been running on fumes for months (or years), and they’ve finally forced them to stop.

Let me show you what’s actually happening and how to fix it before you completely crash.

What ADHD Burnout Actually Is (And Why It’s Different)

Everyone experiences stress. Burnout is fundamentally different.

Stress: Your nervous system is activated, but you can still function. You’re stretched thin, but you’re managing.

Burnout: Your nervous system has shut down. You’re not just tired. You’re depleted. Tasks that used to be automatic (answering emails, making decisions, showing up) now feel impossible.

For People with ADHD, Burnout Looks Different

If you have ADHD (diagnosed or undiagnosed), the impacts of burnout can be a lot more difficult to navigate because your brain already works overtime to compensate for executive function challenges.

You’re not just managing tasks. You’re managing constant mental filtering (sorting what’s important from what’s not), emotional regulation (ADHD brains feel emotions more intensely), working memory overload (holding multiple thoughts at once), and rejection sensitivity dysphoria (intense fear of disappointing others).

You burn through mental energy faster than neurotypical people. By the time you realize you’re burned out, you’ve been running on empty for months.

The Three Stages of Burnout (And Where You Are)

Most people don’t recognize burnout until they’re deep in Stage 3. Here’s what each stage looks like so you can catch it earlier.

Stage 1: The Warning Signs (You’re Still Functional)

At this stage, you’re stressed but managing. Cracks are starting to show.

You’re more irritable than usual. Small inconveniences feel like major problems. You’re forgetting things you normally wouldn’t. You need more caffeine to get through the day. You’re canceling plans because you’re “too tired.” Your sleep is restless. You wake up still tired.

The ADHD twist: You might hyperfocus on work projects to avoid dealing with how drained you feel. This gives the illusion you’re fine. Until you suddenly aren’t.

What to do: This is the easiest stage to reverse. You need rest, boundaries, and nervous system regulation.

Stage 2: The Crash (You’re Barely Holding It Together)

At this stage, functioning takes enormous effort. You’re going through the motions, but nothing feels right.

You dread tasks that used to be easy. You’re emotionally numb or on the verge of tears. You’re snapping at people you care about. You can’t concentrate (even with medication if you take ADHD meds). You’re getting sick more often. You fantasize about quitting everything.

The ADHD twist: Your executive function completely collapses. You can’t start tasks, finish tasks, or make decisions. Everything feels urgent and nothing gets done.

What to do: You need immediate intervention. This isn’t something you can “power through.” You need professional support, time off, and a complete reset of your routine.

Stage 3: The Shutdown (You’ve Hit the Wall)

At this stage, your body and brain have forced you to stop. You physically cannot push anymore.

You can’t get out of bed. Even basic self-care (showering, eating) feels overwhelming. You feel detached from your life (like you’re watching yourself from outside). You have no motivation for things you used to love. You’re having physical symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, or chronic pain. You’re questioning everything about your life.

The ADHD twist: You feel like you’ve failed at being an adult. The shame spiral is intense because you used to be able to manage everything. And now you can’t.

What to do: This requires professional help. You’re not just burned out. You’re likely experiencing depression and anxiety on top of burnout. Therapy, medical support, and possibly time off work are essential.

Why High-Performers in Ottawa Are Burning Out Faster

I work with public servants, tech professionals, healthcare workers, and executives in Ottawa. Here’s what I notice.

The High-Performer Trap

You’ve built your identity around being capable. You don’t recognize burnout as burnout. You see it as personal failure.

You think: “Other people handle this. Why can’t I?”

Reality: Other people aren’t handling it either. They’re just better at hiding it. Or they have support systems you don’t. Or they’re not dealing with ADHD, trauma, perfectionism, or chronic stress on top of a demanding job.

The Ottawa Work Culture Problem

Ottawa’s work culture (especially in government and tech) rewards overwork. Taking sick days feels like weakness. Setting boundaries makes you seem “not committed.” Working late is normalized. Hybrid work blurred the line between work and home.

Burnout isn’t just common here. It’s expected.

The Pandemic Hangover

Many people are still running on pandemic-era adrenaline. For years, you operated in crisis mode. Now that things have “returned to normal,” your nervous system hasn’t caught up. You’re still in fight-or-flight, but there’s no more adrenaline to fuel it.

The Five Root Causes of Burnout (And How to Address Each One)

Burnout doesn’t happen because you’re weak. It happens because one or more of these five systems is broken.

Cause 1: Chronic Overstimulation

What it is: Your nervous system is on with no downtime.

Why it happens: Endless notifications, back-to-back meetings, no transition time between work and home, constant decision-making.

The ADHD connection: ADHD brains are already overstimulated. Adding environmental overstimulation on top creates nervous system overload.

How to fix it: Create buffer time between tasks (even 5 minutes helps). Turn off non-essential notifications. Use noise-canceling headphones in overstimulating environments. Build a morning routine that doesn’t start with your phone.

Cause 2: Lack of Recovery Time

What it is: You never actually rest. Even your “rest” is productive (errands, social obligations, catching up on tasks).

Why it happens: You equate rest with laziness. You fill every moment with productivity.

The ADHD connection: ADHD brains struggle with transitions. Once you stop working, it’s hard to start again. So you just never stop.

How to fix it: Schedule non-negotiable rest in your calendar (treat it like a meeting). Practice doing nothing for 10 minutes a day (literally just sit). Give yourself permission to rest without earning it. Use body doubling for rest if needed (rest with a friend nearby).

Cause 3: Misaligned Values

What it is: You’re living according to someone else’s priorities, not your own.

Why it happens: You took a job for money, status, or stability. It doesn’t align with what you actually value. Every day feels like a betrayal of yourself.

The ADHD connection: ADHD brains need novelty and purpose to stay engaged. Without it, even “good” jobs feel soul-crushing.

How to fix it: Write down your top 5 values (not what you think they should be, but what they actually are). Audit your week. How much time did you spend on activities that align with those values? Make one small change toward alignment (even 1 hour per week helps). If the gap is too big, therapy can help you navigate a bigger shift.

Cause 4: Unaddressed Trauma or ADHD

What it is: You’re managing undiagnosed ADHD or unprocessed trauma on top of a demanding life.

Why it happens: You’ve learned to compensate. Compensation takes energy. Eventually, you run out.

The ADHD connection: Many high-performers don’t realize they have ADHD until they burn out. The coping strategies that worked for years suddenly stop working.

How to fix it: Get assessed for ADHD (even if you were successful before, burnout can unmask ADHD). Work with a therapist trained in EMDR or IFS for trauma processing. Use ADHD-friendly systems like external reminders, body doubling, and gamification. Stop trying to “fix” yourself and start building systems that work with your brain.

Cause 5: Perfectionism and Fear of Disappointing Others

What it is: You say yes to everything because you’re terrified of letting people down.

Why it happens: Your self-worth is tied to being helpful, capable, and indispensable. You can’t say no without feeling guilty.

The ADHD connection: Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) makes saying no feel life-threatening. You’d rather burn out than risk someone being upset with you.

How to fix it: Practice saying no to low-stakes requests (“Can you grab coffee?” becomes “Not this week, but thanks for thinking of me”). Remind yourself that disappointing someone doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Work with a therapist on RSD and people-pleasing patterns. Build a support system that doesn’t require you to be “on” all the time.

How to Recover from Burnout (The Practical Steps)

Recovery isn’t linear. These steps will help you rebuild your capacity without crashing again.

Step 1: Stop the Bleeding (Immediate Actions)

If you’re in Stage 2 or 3, you need to stop the damage now.

Do this this week. Cancel or delegate one non-essential task. Take one full day off (no work, no productivity, no “catching up”). Tell one trusted person: “I’m burned out and I need support.” Book a doctor’s appointment. Burnout has physical symptoms. Get them checked.

Step 2: Regulate Your Nervous System (Daily Practices)

Your nervous system is stuck in fight-or-flight. These practices help it downshift.

Choose one to start. Box breathing (inhale 4 counts, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4, repeat 5 times). Body scan (lie down, notice sensations in your body without changing them). Cold water on face (activates the vagus nerve, calms nervous system instantly). Movement (walk, stretch, dance, anything that gets you out of your head). Bilateral stimulation (tap alternating shoulders while breathing, EMDR technique).

The ADHD tip: Set a daily alarm for one practice. Start with 5 minutes. Don’t try to do all of them. Pick one and make it automatic.

Step 3: Rebuild Boundaries (Without Guilt)

Burnout happens because your boundaries collapsed. Time to rebuild them.

Use this script: “I’m at capacity right now. I can’t take this on without dropping something else. What’s the priority?“

Practice saying “I need to check my calendar before I commit,” “I can’t make that work, but here’s what I can do,” and “I’m prioritizing rest this week. Let’s reconnect next week.“

The ADHD tip: Write your boundaries down. ADHD brains forget boundaries in the moment (especially when someone is asking for help). Having them written helps you remember.

Step 4: Get Professional Support

You don’t have to do this alone. Trying to recover from burnout alone is part of the problem.

When to seek therapy: You’re in Stage 2 or 3. You’ve tried self-care and it’s not working. You’re dealing with ADHD, trauma, or chronic anxiety on top of burnout. You need help rebuilding your relationship (burnout destroys intimacy).

What to look for: Therapists trained in ADHD (not just general anxiety or depression). EMDR or IFS for trauma processing. CBT for executive function strategies. Gottman or EFT if burnout is affecting your relationship.

At Therapy with Empathy, we work with high-performing professionals in Ottawa who want to recover from burnout without losing their edge. We offer both in-person therapy in Westboro and online therapy across Ontario.

Step 5: Redesign Your Life (Long-Term Prevention)

Once you’re stable, it’s time to redesign your life so burnout doesn’t happen again.

Ask yourself what you need to say no to permanently. What support systems do you need that you don’t currently have? What would your life look like if you prioritized sustainability over productivity?

The ADHD tip: You can’t “discipline” your way out of burnout. You need systems that work with your brain, not against it.

What Recovery Actually Looks Like

Recovery isn’t instant. Here’s what you can expect.

Week 1 to 2: You’ll feel worse before you feel better. Your body finally has permission to rest, so it collapses.

Week 3 to 4: Energy starts returning in small bursts. You’ll have 1 to 2 good hours a day instead of zero.

Month 2 to 3: You can function again, but you’re not back to baseline. You’ll need to protect your energy carefully.

Month 6 and beyond: You start feeling like yourself again. But a version of yourself that’s learned to rest.

For High-Performers in Ottawa: You’re Not Broken

If you’re reading this and thinking, “This is me,” I want you to hear this.

You’re not failing. You’re not weak. You’re not broken.

You’re a high-performer who’s been operating at 110% for years. Your nervous system hit its limit.

The same drive that made you successful is the same drive that burned you out. You can keep your ambition and still protect your well-being. You just need to learn how.

Getting Started: One Small Step

This week, pick one thing from this list.

Take one full day off (no work, no productivity). Cancel one non-essential commitment. Practice one nervous system regulation technique daily. Tell one person: “I’m burned out and I need support.” Book a consultation with a therapist who specializes in burnout.

You don’t need to fix everything at once. You just need to start.

Burnout isn’t the end. It’s your nervous system forcing you to build a life that’s sustainable, not just successful.

If you’re struggling with burnout, ADHD, or chronic stress, therapy can help. Book a free consultation to work with a therapist in Ottawa who specializes in helping high-performers recover without losing their edge.