There are so many things that get in the way of us accessing mental health services, from systemic inequity, lack of representation, mental health awareness, and stigma. 

However, when we talk about it on a day to day, we rarely use those terms – we say things like “it’s just not for me”, “I don’t trust people with my issues”, or “I’m not crazy”. 

We often fail to realize that most of what’s holding us back is based on misconceptions about mental health, or the thought that it’s just not for people like us, an idea that’s been passed on from generations to generations. 

I’m hoping you’ll find this post beneficial and maybe even nudge you towards the direction of starting therapy. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t somewhat interested, so let’s get started. 

“It’s not that deep for me to talk to someone.”

Often time, we think the challenges we’re facing need to be life-threatening to seek help. I believe this is also based on the misconception that mental health and mental illness are the same, and if we’re not mentally ill, then there’s no reason to see a shrink. 

Let’s take a moment to differentiate the two: Mental health refers to our mental well-being, including our emotions, thoughts, feelings, as well as our abilities to overcome difficulties, and our understanding of the world around us. On the other end, mental illness is a disorder (a dis-order) that impacts the way we think, feel, behave, or interact with others. 

It’s important to understand that seeking support is not just for those with a mental illness, it is a crucial part of maintaining overall good health. Anyone can enjoy its benefits, whether it’s to set life goals, work on personal growth or establish healthy relationships. To put it simply, “there is no health without mental health”.

“I’m strong enough to handle things myself.”

We are often taught to keep our feelings to ourselves, and there are historical narratives such as The Strong Black Woman or The Independent Black Man that keep this mindset going.  

The emphasis on strength, perseverance, and independence is very prominent in our community, largely due to the impacts of slavery and colonialism. As a result, we’re more likely to “shake it off” and “get over it”, since we’re expected to handle emotional challenges without seeking professional help. 

Unfortunately, we fail to realize that our body and mind are strongly connected and if mentally we’re not okay, and are not processing our emotions, we won’t even be able to demonstrate the full extent of the strength we do possess. 

I’m sure you’ve seen this before, but it bears repeating, seeking help is ALWAYS a sign of strength, not weakness. 

“These people don’t know what we go through.”

I’ve heard this one a few times. It’s the idea that a non-BIPOC therapist wouldn’t be able to adequately support a black client. In fact, data shows that 60% black Canadians would be more willing to use mental health services if the mental health professional was black.

This is very understandable as the relationship you develop with your therapist, the rapport you build with them is one of the main factors that determine the success of therapy. 

Working with someone that looks like you can easily make you feel more comfortable, more seen and understood, which allows space for vulnerability.

That said, I wouldn’t want you to miss out on receiving the support you need simply because the therapists you’ve found don’t come in the exact package you were expecting. At times, those who have had different experiences than us are also able to offer a different perspective. 

Additionally, there’s sadly not enough of us for all of you. However, you can still have access to great therapy by asking yourself some of the questions below:

•  What types of therapists resonate well with me and work well with my personality?

• Am I looking for a no BS type of approach or would I prefer a gentle nudge in the direction I need to take?

• Do I need structure in the sessions as well as homework afterwards, or would I prefer exploring my emotions and staying in my feelings during the session?

Finding a therapist that you feel connected to can be hard, it can be frustrating, and it can take time, sometimes a very long time. You shouldn’t feel bad or throw therapy out the window if the first ones you’ve contacted are not working out. 

Give yourself the opportunity to test them out, to make sure they fit your style. That’s why we have consultations, be sure to take advantage of them! 

“Why do we need therapy if we have God? Can’t we just pray about it?”

Some people believe that talking about mental health undermines their faith. Religious coping mechanisms such as prayer and pastoral guidance are usually their preferred ways of coping. If that’s you, it’s important to note that therapy and faith don’t need to be mutually exclusive; there’s room for both.

It’s important to be aware of whether you’d want your religious or spiritual beliefs to be incorporated in therapy. With that, it can help to differentiate between finding a therapist that describes themselves as faith-sensitive or faith-based. 

• A faith-sensitive therapist will understand the role faith plays in your life and will honour you by understanding and wanting you to stay connected to that. 

• A faith-based therapist will center your session around religion and spirituality, and they may even be directly linked to a church or a religious community. 

Regardless of the option you choose, it’s crucial to ensure that this person is trained in counselling/psychotherapy, and they have an appropriate license to offer you the clinical skills you need to best support you throughout this journey.  

“Why are you telling people our business”

This may be what we hear when we first tell our family members that we’re going to therapy. Your auntie may be unaware of the strict aspect of confidentiality that exists between mental health professionals and their clients. The fear is that by seeking help, words will spread to the neighbourhood, and your family will be judged as a result. 

It’s not that your family don’t want you to get help, they’re worried that others will see the family as dysfunctional by going to therapy, because shame and embarrassment are aspects of intergenerational trauma. 

Please know that unless you were a danger to yourself or others, what you share in sessions stays between you and your therapist. Your family members may not believe you at first, but I’ll go out on a limb to say you’re doing this for you, and they might even benefit from it! 

Feeling hesitant? Remember…

• Seeking support is a sign of strength not weakness.

• Culturally specific resources do exist. There are specific wellness sites targeted towards BIPOC in Canada:

  • Women of Color Remake Wellness

  • Black Therapist List

• Free mental health support is available. You can ask your local community health centre about no-cost programs in your area. 

• When seeking support from a therapist, cultural competency is crucial. Here are some questions to ask during your consultation call: 

  • What is your treatment approach, and do you provide support while integrating one’s culture? 

  • Have you worked with Black clients in the past or received training in cultural competency for Black Mental Health? 

  • What is your perspective of differences in health outcomes for Black clients?

It’s important that your therapist is aware of your cultural background and understands that due to systemic inequity, lack of representation, and stigma that people of color experience mental health challenges differently. 

The relationship that you build with your therapist is essential to the success of your treatment. Therefore, you want your needs to be taken consideration and you want them to understand how your beliefs will play a role in the treatment plan. 

I’ll end on this note: I recognize that therapy is hard work and is not always easily accessible, even when we know we need it. That said, I encourage you to take care of your mental health today; however that looks like for you.