You may have heard multiple people say that therapy is useful for your well-being and it helps you grow and maintain better relationships with others. 

You decided to take the leap, and booked your first appointment. 

A few sessions in, it’s not working as well as you thought it would, but you’re not sure why. 

Here are possible reasons why therapy isn’t working for you.

1. You don’t feel comfortable with your therapist.

   If you’re about to share intimate details of your life, and you don’t feel comfortable doing so with the person you’re talking to, it’s important to pay attention to that. 

   What is your body telling you as you’re entering the room? Do you feel tense? Are you anxious? Would you rather be anywhere else? 

   Granted, therapy isn’t an easy process to start anyway. So, it’s not uncommon that you’d feel anxious in your first session, however if it’s happening over and over, you want to examine where that feeling is coming from. 

   Once you’ve noticed that the feeling of uneasiness isn’t going away, it’s worthwhile bringing it up with your therapist. They’ll ask prompting questions to help you figure out exactly what’s going on. 

   Is it their approach that’s not working? Are they too gentle or beating around the bush, but you’d prefer someone who’s more direct and is willing to challenge you? 

   Would you like to get more input or feedback and action steps, so that you know what to do when you get home? Or maybe they give too much information too fast and you’re finding it hard to process?

   Whatever the reason is, talk it out and it could make a big difference. 

   We talk a lot about maintaining healthy relationships here, and the one you have with your therapist is just as important. 

2. You’re not fully open about what’s going on.

   Are you keeping things from your therapist? 

   If that’s the case, you’re doing yourself a disservice by not being transparent. Think of it this way, the majority of the information to structure a therapy session comes from you, the client. Whatever intervention or treatment approach we use will be based on what you tell us. 

   And if we don’t know the full story, you’re not giving us the opportunity to support you as best we could. 

   Some of us are pretty ballsy and will call you out on it. But, it’s not always apparent when a client is not disclosing everything. To maintain a positive and trusting relationship with your therapist, it’s best to be upfront. 

   I also want to highlight that a trusting relationship isn’t built in one session. As much as it’s important to be transparent, the therapeutic environment has to be safe for you to do so. 

   That means your therapist has to make sure that there is physical and emotional safety, and has created a space where healing can occur, especially when you’re discussing sensitive topics or traumatic events. 

   If that’s already settled, let us help you, by helping us. 

3. You’re not consistent.

   Putting myself on the spot here: When I started going to therapy, I thought I could make progress by going once a month. 

   My therapist was like “nope, that’s not gonna work.” He then proceeded to explain how that would slow us down, especially from the beginning. We’ve only just started to get to know each other, and if our next session is in 4-6 weeks, then it’d feel like the next time we meet, it’d be as if we’re getting reacquainted. 

   Now that I’m working in the field, I totally understand why. I suggest the same thing to my client. At the beginning, biweekly is great, unless they want to come on a weekly basis.

   As things progress, their needs change, and as such they may not need to come as often. Which can offer some reassurance, reduce the financial strain, and eventually allow you to use those extra funds elsewhere. 

   Whatever the timeline you’ve agreed on with your therapist, stick to it. If you need adjustments, talk to them about it and see what can be done. 

   This is a step in the right direction as you’re improving your overall well-being, and as a bonus, it can also transcend into other aspects of your life. Being accountable to your mental health and consistently showing up for your sessions increases the likelihood that you’ll do so in other areas. 

If you’re struggling with your sessions right now, I hope some of this resonated with you. Even if it’s not due to one of the reasons I mentioned above, the key takeaway from this blog is that having a conversation with your therapist about it is a good starting point. 

If you’re interested in reading more, check out the other blogs. 

Interested in working with me? Get to know me, and if you think I would be a great fit, fill out the Contact Form to book a free 15-minute phone consultation. 

Until next time!